Constructive Criticism:
-atleast use microsoft word to fix the mistakes xD or just proof read it
-Paragraph it
-needs more creativity... especially with the names xD
-MAIN POINT: Silime is didnt come across right, you need to describe his sexiness and masculinity, make sure you really depict his dominance and heroism! Use some speech, you know like "get to da CHOPPA!" and stuff
I dont know where you find the time and energy man but nice one