My neighborhood kid swallowed my memory card and he's been singing all the songs stored in it for two days. I hope he doesn't reach the Videos section.
Cock and cat were crossing a bridge. Cat slips and falls into river. Cock can't stop laughing. Moral of the story? Wherever there is a wet pussy, there's a happy cock.
Spell me
Girl: M E
ME: you forgot D
Girl: but there's no D in Me
Me: not yet
*evil smile*
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A $100 bill!
I knew my girl was cheating on me when she said she's at the mall with Kristy, while Kristy was laying next to me.
Boy: what do you want to eat?
Girl: anything.
Boy: fast food
Girl: don't want, too oily
Boy: Chinese food
Girl: don't want, yesterday we had Chinese food
Boy: western food
Girl: don't want,
Boy: then what you want?
Girl: Anything.
What is the difference between feminism and a bullet ?? The bullet has a point.
A husband and wife were about to divorce.
The judge said how are you gonna divide your 3 kids?
They said we will make 1 more and come back.
They had twins.
How do you make a fish blind? Remove the "i".
I want to watch a good movie with my girlfriend. Could you guys recommend me some good girlfriends?
I have a joke about peanut butter, but I don't want it to spread.
A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich. The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar. The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think you're going!?" The Koala replies, "Hey, I'm a Koala. Look it up." The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: The dictionary said "n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."
Topic: Post Your Funniest Jokes (Read 2342 times)