Post Your Funniest Jokes

[Ray]

I rang up British Telecom, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'', he said ''Not you again''. 
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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went  -  and I got it.
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Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
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I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

I'll tell you what to do, but you will have to ask NO questions at all to complete the mission !
First of all, find the nearest window. Second of all, dive outside while singing Happy (pharell williams).

[Ray]

Some people will consider it a spam to post it there..
So i decided to post it here...

here's a funny joke : http://www.ambrosia-servers.eu/community/index.php?topic=28883.0;topicseen

[Santa]

How Does Justin Bieber Removes The C*nd*m ?
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He Farts

i can see why people are jealous of justin. I mean, who wouldn't be? He is extremely lucky. But he worked hard to get to where he is now. And if you are jealous of him, shouldn't you be out living your own life and chase your own dreams instead of hating on him? That certainly won't take you anywhere.

So in the end this is a comedy corner so im not ganna turn this into a serious conversation, just want you to know that, justin owned a movie on the age of 16 and got over a 75 reward at the same age, i just want you to know that u dont have to insult him, and u also dont have to love him, just respect people who did help much in this life and did great things, he saved millions of lives and he have to be thanked and not insulted !

well i know you maybe didn't mean anything , you may tell me that its just a joke, but trust me if you did this joke once you may had done it many times !

Jealous yes .. you got me
i want to be called "p*ssy" but over 7 million person around the world ... i'm so jealous

He earns a week more than will a lifetime

You have a choice to keep your pride and be poor or swallow it and get some money.. It applies not only in music industry..  Then bigger the amount the money, then more you need lock your core of values into "golden cage"...

omg did i wrote this??, my whole point of view has now changed, how gay i was, i admit ! @Ray you should have been more altruistic
and i also admit that now justin dont worth a shit !

[Zizu~]

So there were 2 grandmas walking down the street, and than they forgot to breath and died! 
its such a dumb joke just like it please

[Kiricocom]

So there were 2 grandmas walking down the street, and than they forgot to breath and died! 
its such a dumb joke just like it please

HAHAHAHA, I iz laugh so hard....NOOOOOOOT

you wanna know a real joke? here it is! why did the girl fall over the swing? because she was messing hehehehe

[Zizu~]

So there were 2 grandmas walking down the street, and than they forgot to breath and died! 
its such a dumb joke just like it please

HAHAHAHA, I iz laugh so hard....NOOOOOOOT

you wanna know a real joke? here it is! why did the girl fall over the swing? because she was messing hehehehe

Now that is just bad. and pls stop hatin

[Kiricocom]

So there were 2 grandmas walking down the street, and than they forgot to breath and died! 
its such a dumb joke just like it please

HAHAHAHA, I iz laugh so hard....NOOOOOOOT

you wanna know a real joke? here it is! why did the girl fall over the swing? because she was messing hehehehe

nah,not hating.

Now that is just bad. and pls stop hatin

[Pringles]

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available scented with lemon or vanilla.

[Panasonic~]

Sanji: There are only four directions.
Zoro: No, there are six.
Everybody: Huh?!!!!!
Ussop: Wait guys, Zoro is right. He's one step ahead of us. Aside from north, south, east, and west, he included "above" and "below" so it became six. Zoro is thinking in terms of our 3 dimensional world, and not like when you only consider a 2D map. Awesome Zoro!
Zoro: No, I think they're north, south, west, east, front, and back.
@ReFresh 

[SilverQuick]

Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."

Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."

Mother: "Yes, you do."

Victor: "Give me one good reason."

Mother: "Because you're 34 years old, and you're the principal."

[thEnd]

Rambaten is supreme!

[Fisu]

Police: "KNOCK KNOCK"
Me: Whos there?
Police: It's the Police open the door
Me: What do you want from me?
Police: We just wanna talk.
Me: How many of you are there?
Police: 2
Me: then talk to yourself

Either laugh, or like the joke. ffs.

[RAMBATEN]

Quote from: tαshαღ on May 26, 2014, 07:04:19 PM
Quote from: RAMBATEN on May 26, 2014, 06:51:03 PM
Sammi & Tasha ...<3 my *******

excuse me???

Hahaha..Tasha Natasha still alive?  Hmm I haven't see you for years.  This is epic and ts3 was even more. .

[header]

A man walks into a bar

ouch.

[supertomi]

Your mom is so fat, when she joined the jailbreak server, it went full

Yo mama so fat, when the commander in Jailbreak told her to jump, the server crashed.

[LoTT]

  Blonde and Tv's

Once upon a time there was a blonde and she went inside a shop and asked the Man there  how much this television costs?
Man: We dont sell these things to a blonde.
She says ok and goes back home and changes the colour of her hairs to Black and goes again to the Shop and asks the same things ,how much this tv  costs?
Man:  We dont sell these things to a blonde.
She goes back home and thinks that how did he know that she was blonde, she desides to change her hair colour to pink and goes again to the shop and asks the same thing.
Man says again the we dont sell these things to a blonde. She gets nervous and says to him : How that's possible, how the hell do you know that I am a blonde?
the man replies: Because this is a microwave

[Bess]

Yo mama is so fat, when I kill her on CS, I get the ace

[Red Wolf]

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumped in the pool, they found water in mars.

[Pringles]

I wanted to make a joke about unemployed people but it doesn't work.

I've been trying to create a website for women drivers, but it keeps crashing.

[BADMAN]

I failed biology test because , apparently , "black people" wasnt acceptable awnser for "what's found in cells"